Speaking to Stars

I've begun a relationship with the Stars as of late.  One night I came home from watching the movie 2012 and upon getting out of the car I looked up.  There was a particular star twinkling just a bit more than usual.  I stood there with my head up in awe.  My mother and brother asked what I was doing as they were going in the house.  I said, "I am talking to the stars..a star," as my eyes and head remained fixated upon this special star.  

My brother told me to sit on the grass as he knows how I am.  Sure enough I sit on the grass and the conversation became more intense- between this star and I.  One day I will attempt to fully describe as humanly possible this wondrous experience.  For today the facts.  How does one communicate with Stars?  Well in a linear sense- TELEPATHICALLY, however it is much better than that. 

Main Entry: te·lep·a·thy 

Pronunciation: \tə-ˈle-pə-thē\

Function: noun

Date: 1882

: communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/telepathically

Stars know so much more and are much more AWARE of their complete divinity- all of it.  Well that communication with them moves me so.  They showed me a great vision and it brought me to tears.  This is how I know it was real.  

And well ever since- 2-3 x's thus far I have ventured outside in the night to sit and speak with them some more.  I do make it a point though now to say my hellos and I love you's.  

Prophets

If I were a prophet, I'd tell you that all your dreams are real.  That every vision has a seed of fulfillment and outcome in all its purity.  That every heartache you may feel brings a shift to the energy of the universe because there is no heartache which ever exists without first love being there to begin.  As much as it comes so forth uncomfortably it is being released to the earth to come unto you tenfold and more in return once it is let go completely.

If I were a prophet, I'd tell you it's okay because the divinity within you that is YOU surrounds you and is within you and is YOU throughout ALL of your days and IN all of your days.  Even throughout the unspeakable and unthinkable and you surviving nonetheless.  This is how strong and beautiful you are.  This is how strong and vibrant YOUR LIGHT is.  Whatever feeling you may stand in as a result- I pray for them to dissipate that you may come center of your essence and be on your peace.  

If I were a prophet, these words will come to you and hold you from the core so in knowing the truth of these words- you would know all that you need to for all of your days and that you are a prophet too.   

Racquel

Sky and Sea

There will be a time when I will fly above the skies amongst the clouds and birds.  I will feel the crisp air upon my cheek and taste it in my mouth, feel it in my nostrils and eyeballs.  I will be new- just like in my dreams.  Except I'll be able to fly for longer periods of time and when I wake up I'll still be in the air.  Maybe when I go to sleep I'll dream of the land.

There will be a time just the same when I will swim beneath the deepest depths of the sea.  Except it will be as bright as day below- not like oceanographers think today.  I don't know how it'll work whether I will breathe in the water water and filter it through my lungs or something or breathe from within but that is irrelevent.  The important part is I will swim with the fish and even the sharks will be my friends. 

Hmmmm....good idea.

Dreams

I woke up today with a deep sense of gratitude where that well within was before and it is so solid and strong.  I feel very happy about this.  I feel very grateful to have people who care in my life, people who listen to my heart through my words whether I am happy, sad, or in between.

I had a dream this morning with an ostrich and a llama, they were playing and I climbed up a tree.  The ostrich was very cute.  Llama kind of disappeared.  Here is what the dream dictionary said it means

Llama

To see a llama in your dream, represents deep trust, strength and endurance. It may also mean that you are worrying too much and carrying too many problems.

Ostrich

To see an ostrich in your dream, suggests that you are not facing reality and living in a world of your own. You may be in denial or unwilling to accept a situation. Alternatively, the ostrich can symbolize truth and justice.

To dream that you are climbing a tree, signifies that you will achieve your career goals and reach those high places in society.  The degree of difficulty to which you climb the tree will measure the speed of your achievement of these goals.

Yeah, I'd say it's the positive parts of each:)  Thank you dream weaver!!!!!!

:D Joy is now mine because I choose for it to be so

It's time to walk the path, it's time to smile:  My mom sent this to me and I found it inspiring.

Taking the time to share these with you because You already are a fantastic person. xoxo Sonja Nike Air Advertisement Too often we are scared.Scared of what we might not be able to do. Scared of what people might think if we tried. We let our fears stand in the way of our hopes. We say no when we want to say yes. We sit quietly when we want to scream. And we shout with the others, when we should keep our mouths shut. Why? After all, we do only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid. So stop. Try something you've never tried. Risk it. Enter a triathlon. Write a letter to the editor. Demand a raise. Call winners at the toughest court. Throw away your television. Bicycle across the United States. Try bobsledding. Try anything. Speak out against the designated hitter. Travel to a country where you don't speak the language. Patent something. Call her. You have nothing to lose and everything  everything everything to gain. JUST DO IT.

7 days

I wish in parts to fall asleep beneath a tree and sleep and sleep and sleep until I no longer feel the need to any longer.  I cry in this yearning of lack of connection to that which I love and have no power or control over none other but to let it go.  This is all I have.  This yearning, this hunger, this aching, this longing, this running to a well within I somehow for some reason cannot reach.  I'm searching for an inspiration but inspiration is- it cannot be found.

So I will fast until it comes- I've decided.  I don't know what type of fast I am to do but right now I feel like fasting on water.  I've never done this and I know that it can be dangerous but for some reason I know I can do it.  Maybe it will be for a day maybe more, maybe longer but as long as I need to do it, as long as I can, I will.  Something is telling me one week.  7 days starting tomorrow.  

This past week I've had little motivation to do much- even though I know I've done this and that...it still is like a hollow within me.  So I will match my insides with my out to fast and be within as I am above...in hopes of altering my above my physical existence to a new awareness.  Miracles always seem to occur when I do this- fast.  I look forward to the new day.

Moments

You are the beauty in a second.  a blade of grass in a field.  a leaf upon a tree of plenty.  a grain of sand upon the oceanside.  a salt in the sea.  

For these seconds create hours which create days which create months to years to decades to centuries to eons

for these blades of grass create patches which create knolls which create pastures to fields to forests and jungles alike

and a leaf upon a leaf to a branch to a tree to a glade to a forest of wild life that it sustains

grain upon grain to build a sand castle upon the beach for which the the vast ocean may sit upon and say hello to the land of people who were not made to breathe under water

salt for salt what would the ocean be but a river without a salt upon a salt.

to me you are a second, a blade of grass, a leaf, a grain of sand, a salt in the sea.

What I would be without a breathe upon a breathe and all of the like.

Racquel Tristan

....this is my reason for a Colorado respite to slink away and write and write and write without end without reason to simply let my silly self spill forth without interruption.  I do know now that it is necessary to experience this world and people and loved ones and obstacles to have something to write about.....I have a enough to last me a lifetime...and some.

God has other plans sometimes though and they always turn out to be better so we'll see what's around the bend..."just keep swimming" (Dori-Finding Nemo)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA&feature=related

Sometimes there are moments in time which last for but a short time and enrapture for moments beyond their existence.  All time is but one moment in which we create measures to calculate different portions of it anyways but I do believe that moments carry their own knowledge within themselves.  Time is intelligent.  It whispers to me when a certain one is special.  So had it only been one second it would have carried out just the same.  Time is intelligent and it knows all time.  

I am simply a blade of grass in it but I am beautiful just the same.  Just as that moment was in time.  Just as that moment was in time.

...although...there is... no such... thing... as......... Time.

Blessings and Time

There is a blessing in every second of time.  Even in my tears and sadness- I have the ability to experience it- the blessing to.  As hard as it can be to let it flow- some of my best poetry arises from it.  Maybe my simple purpose it to share it, that others may know that another has felt this panging of emotions. Well either way I feel the inkling to share it with the world one day soon.  When this semester is over I will begin to compile my poetry from over the years since I've begun writing and once I am done self publish it. 

Spanning over 11 years of my life- I began when I was 13 years old.  Even I am interested to see my own evolution.  Although people may say what they will of any of my works good or bad- it is from where I was at for that time and it aided me in getting through it: whether it was love, depression, heartbreak, anger, resentment, gratitude, friendship, whatever- it is me.  And I've kept each one for the most part and have always dated it.  I look forward to the process of compiling it.

My living situation is soo thankfully balancing out and with it so is my head, my heart, and life.  It's been a very peaceful past couple of days- in one not having any money to go anywhere- not even gas money- but very gratefully I do have the days off which takes away the need for me to borrow money for gas and my bills are paid.  "First Things First"  and I've been able to be here at home and meditate, get my room and home together, finally take out all of my belongings from storage, throw away trash, and donate a box of things to charity.  And be here for my family when they need me and to simply enjoy them as they wonderfully are.  Simply laying on one another's beds and sharing our hearts with one another.  It's so peaceful and natural it's odd, yet it nourishes my soul and being in so many ways.  

I don't know what the future holds for many things...there are some things which I did, but those outcomes can change at any given moment.  I suppose all that matters is I continue on.."one foot in front of the other"  and follow my intuition...which is silent most of the time.  Nature, how I dream of escaping to you.

Dimensions

I feel the new skin that I am in and the continuous cellular regeneration- it feels reeeeaaally good.  Very new, very lovely.  Quite a many happenings have occurred in my waking life this week and I must say that- years ago events as such were taken on by me very intensely and processing them...well wasn't my cup of tea then.  

Well life has taught me many things and I've learned many valuable lessons in it.  I can whole heartedly say that EVERYTHING, every single event, trial, tribulation, happiness, sadness, joy, fear, smile, tear, frown, hardship, sorrow, love, and loss, etc., that I've experienced and felt in all of my lives- has brought me to this point.  NIRVANA...peace within and without....balance.  I wish I could describe it.  It cannot be explained- it's more than a feeling.  It's my new and ever evolving state of now being.  Your will for me Lord and the Power to carry it out...I must say is the most miraculous, phenomenal self-fulfilling prayer, I could ever pray.

I KNOW the miracles of each moment and blessings each second carries.  Every molecule, every ingredient to LIFE is sacred.  I seem to go on and on because I attempt to envelope this unevelopeable everything.  This moment, this NOW is ALL time and so SACRED and beautiful I am beside myself- in one being tired and awe.  

Thank You 

BALANCE

Tonight is one of the first nights and days in a long where I have really done A LOT for me.  My mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual self.  On any given day I will usually address at least one of these facets to myself.  Today and here forth I am doing my best to make a conscious effort to do this every waking day.  I must say it feels really good.  

I am able to see where I begin and end- to take care of my personal bubble in this universe.  There are parts of my bubble that could use some repairs, dusting, and shining...but there are also parts that shine and help me to trust.  Willingness has been my key to happiness doors lately and I've been taking what works keeping that and letting go of the things that don't anymore.  

Warm and fuzzies do come when I am an instrument in being of service to the world, while nourishing my soul simultaneously. 

What it all boils down to is...BALANCE:D

May you know of the peace that comes with this too.

Vaya Con Dios,

Racquel

Seeds

Delving into the deepest parts of myself....to open open up, to see, to feel. Take a look at the rawness of the substance- unrefined. Cleaving at my core like a piece of wood.

Is an uncut diamond more beautiful than a cut diamond? I believe it to be so. Doing the things I don't want to do- to be able to be more and do more of what I do. A smoother road to speak of more than walk upon.

It is these circles in time which dive into the best ones, when all I wish to do is dream the day away and wake up to a rainbow with a symphony. Happiness and flying with the birds is in my hands- I know my dreams know their own fruition, which is why I dream along just the same- just the same. Each seed knows a nectar more and more sweet.

For now the dirt of the Earth is beautiful just the same. The water of the dreams. My heart is the hole waiting for it to take root.

Hope: along the road

     I don't know how I fell into you but I did- I trust in that.  I don't know what is to come but I know what is- I feel vulnerable and open- I will let this be.  And I don't know if that will be enough for you but I hope it is. 

 

Gratitude

 Today I realized- although I am for the most part always aware- but today in particular I realized what a blessed life I live.  Awkwardly enough it was one of my more downside days.  Nothing bad happened in particular nor good.  It was simply a day where I was sitting in thoughts/feelings of angst.  I have experienced a various of spectrums in my time alive thus which is why today was odd to me.  Well I gathered myself just in time to get to my night class and run an errand rushingly beforehand though I did have all day.  And get ready for a commitment I had at a friends function "LaViolette @ The Standard Hollywood"  to dance...this any other a day brings me a sizable amount of joy.  That and I've had the past going on 4 days off in a row(I had to call out of a meeting I had today because my throat was aching in the morning.) so I really drug myself out.

I am grateful for many a things and today in particular well I had these obligations to get me off my butt and out of my pool of stillness in angst- I mean contemplation of nothing.  After class in which we watched a phenomenal piece called "The Bigger Picture"  on society and circumstances that create atmospheres where atrocious behavior becomes doable ie the Holocaust/Slavery/etc.  Asch and Milgram experiments/ Zimbardo as well.  so I squeeze in the time to see a friend who's been going through a great deal and I don't know where my line comes to do something...a long story but it actually ties in with what I was studying in class.  Everything is connected.

I come home sit down before my shower and I know this is even to me a dreary account of my day; however, it was just that.  I sit down and read my past blogs and realize how blessed I am to even be able to write a blog/ponder and contemplate my spirituality.  To feel at all whether it be joy/sadness/happiness/depression/love/heartache.  People in so many parts of the world and even I at one point are just surviving and some people aren't even able to survive what they undergo.  People pass from this life every second from natural causes and many very unnatural(murder, rape, suicide...)  

I am grateful for my angst, my achy throat, my deep thoughts that seem to keep me enthralled.  I also prayed to my Grandma Veronica today for awhile which I don't always do(she passed a few years back) and in my less than joyous state I have found this silver lining.  It still is what it is.  Its not joy.  but thats okay.  and I'm sitting with it.  

I do wish I could be of service to the world more.  Do many profound things.  Make a difference.  In the Earth, the Universe, Mankind.  I know I have big ideals- I embrace that now(no more closet ideals).  I pray they may one day see fruition.  Maybe that time will come.  Maybe it won't.  Each day I can only pray that I may be of service and I pray that I may see that guiding light to show the path to walk.  For now I will embrace this lost feeling as well.

And I am grateful for all of it- every last piece- every last bit.

Horseback Riding

  Today I had one of the best rides to date on 63(the horse). We rode for three hours up to one of the most beautiful locations ever.  We were in the looking over Santa Monica, Downtown La, Glendale, Hollywood, with the Hollywood sign to the right.  We came up through Griffith Park Horse Trails but there are some hiking trails where a lot of people hike up to that point as well.  

  It felt so good.  We say good morning to all the fellow horseback riders, hikers, and bikers alike.  We were the only ones coming up horseback to that point though.  Me, my dad, and his friend, Martin- all in cowboy(and my cowgirl) hats on/riding attire.  Were quite the sight to city hikers from those parts, that and Martin also was walking a baby horse of 21 months, who was quite the cutie pie, Hawk.

  There is something majestic about horses- noble, grandeur.  Every time they look into my eyes I fell as if they can see my soul, my essence and weigh if its good.  

  I've been itching to move to Colorado as of late- to be more one with nature.  Rides like this though....really make me appreciate Los Angeles more.  

Creativity in Sleeplessness

This is what happens when I knock out at 10pm....I'm up at 4:45am.  This can be a good thing I am sure of it.  Well I've actually been up for awhile now and was attempting to slumber once again; however, in this plight I've had a sea of poetry flowing from pen to paper.  Here is one:

I am of spirit

everlasting

heart and soul

this is true

I am of body

for this time

flesh and blood

this is also true

Good Morning World!  Hello Sunshine....almost.

Serenity in Solitude

This weekend has been a blessing indeed.  From my everyday continual interaction with folks- the peaceful days spent with a selected few that I've chosen over Vegas- regroup, rest, and rally all parts of myself- to offer a better me to the world upon my return.  

I've come to realize that the time spent at the park with my puppies- reading a fabulous book, Linda Goodman's Star Signs by Linda Goodman, has been as enlightening as ever and is priceless.  

For many reasons- one of which is my new found awareness of how animal sounds(dogs barking, flies buzzing, birds chirping, lions roaring, etc.)  balance the energy of the Earth, while I heard a lovely bird's song which sounded much like a stick of some sort being rubbed along an old rolling washboard....and a hollow echo within that.   I couldn't see the bird but saw it's figure at the top of the probably 100 foot tree foliage.  

I Love Nature.